Baby's Romance

Have you ever considered someone to be a friend for years and then, at some point in time, you're forced to spend a couple days with them and realize that you absolutely, positively hate them and can't figure out how you ever got along in the first place? Yeah, I'm there. My friend called upon me to assist him on a photoshoot. Even though he refused to pay me, I had nothing better to do and was open to seeing someone outside of my Santa Fe friends. We had a good time at the bar mitzvah and headed to a divey sports bar for drinks...where he proceeded to leave me alone for 40 minutes "going to the bathroom". Turns out he was on the phone with his girlfriend. Okay, this requires a back story, we had been seeing each other for a few months when our mutual friend confides in me that he is seeing another girl and just keeping me around as his dish on the side. Now, I don't have trouble finding men who want to date me. I'm generally the one not interested in anyone at all, so for some prick to be two-timing me, is fucked up. We stopped talking for a while, he occasionally solicits me for im sex. I decline. He sends me porn at work. Fast forward to now: he won't stop poking me, has a retort to anything I say, bitches about suitcases at thrift stores costing seven dollars, leaves his shit EVERYWHERE, tracks snow all around the house, and has not ONCE, not even once, asked me about my life, about my mom's cancer, about how I feel about anything. He refuses to watch any of the shows I like, insisting on watching football or the news. He grabs my boobs and puts his cold feet on my warm legs. He wears my father's robe wide open so that not only am I utterly repulsed by his hairy pregnant belly, but I will always feel a perversion to my father in his robe now. I don't know why I maintain friendships with utter losers who make me feel like shit. He's not the only one! Guys who have continually used me as a doormat, broken my heart, bruised my ego, etc. I want to be their best friends! Why is that? Why can't I just cut assholes out of my life? What is it about me that only attracts sexually deviant, manipulative babies? Am I asking for it? Am I deviant? How do you cut these guys out of your life? I feel like the more self confident I get, the more I'm able to say "no" and say "you're an ass, this is why..." but keeping these guys around at all is detrimental to a continuous growth of self-confidence. Yeah, they think I'm cute/funny/will buy them drinks maybe but none of them like me enough to actually treat me well! Fuck. Guys are fired from my life. (Except for Alex and Ryan...and my dad as long as he's not wearing that robe). I refuse to be any man's port in a storm. They've got to start appreciating the things I do to take care of them and then take care of me when I need them! Power to the peoples.