Then my friends (Saskia and Joe and Joe's cousin) and I went to Korea Town...which is actually just two blocks. Apparently people are eating panda in New York...as unlikely as that seems. Some of the swankier clubs didn't readily welcome whiteys but we managed drunkeness and ate Korean barbeque and kimchee. It was fun to visit parts of New York most people don't bother to visit I guess. I have no regrets of leaving...but I suppose regrets are one of those things that hit you after the fact. I don't know. I have no idea how I'm going to manage a cross-country trip in a week. I have so many tidbits, Weetzie might go nuts, and it might take four days. So...obviously, my mind is all over the place. I'm kinda really excited to get to Santa Fe though! And erm, not just because I'm still in love with my ex boyfriend and may or may not want to trick/convince him to move to Los Angeles with me. It's also cause my best friend Alex is there now and if my ex won't have me, I won't be left to my drunken self! So, back to packing the knives.
10 months ago
I won't say I know exactly what you're going through because I don't, but I do have an idea. At eighteen I packed up everything I hold dear (record player, tapes, boxes of books, posters, LPs, shoes, clothes, and random trinkets) and got in the car and drove for four days from Atlanta to LA. I left behind a serious relationship, my mom, my familiarity, and old life (which was worth leaving behind). I came here, moved into the campus apts, lived in a nightmare of three other girls that I didn't know (and inevitably turned out to be assholes that didn't pay me the money for the cable). I went insane, spent days on end crying, mumbled incoherently into the phone to my ex boyfriend, and silenty drifted into endless bouts of depression peppered only by the occasional happiness I got from driving to Silverlake and walking the streets, daydreaming about what life would be like if I lived in those pretty urban apartments with the fire escapes and the wrought iron around the windows. It's taken what seems like an eternity and between the constant parking tickets (I swear LA has more of my money than I do), new friends suddenly canceling plans because they don't have cars and missed the train, and the fact that I'm taking classes in school right now that aren't really contributing to my degree or my getting my degree, it's easy for me to go back to wallowing in the self pity that pushed so many people away when I'd only wanted them to stay close. But it's actually made me happier and empowered and now that the new year is coming, I sort of feel like for once in my life, I can take hold of my own life, instead of letting life take hold of me. I hope that helps, even a little bit. It takes a strong person to make a decision that big when everyone around you is ready to convince you otherwise. Good luck girl, and stay strong. And keep tracking your journey on Missbehave! You're going to funner places than I did! (Plano, Texas=scary turbines)
ReplyDeleteAww. Thanks Erika! That did help. I'm totally going to have a couple breakdowns before I even make it to LA. But at least I'll be going crazy in a sunnier atmosphere with medical marijuana availability!
ReplyDelete