Sunday, May 17, 2009

Stuff Boys Like

A lot of guys don't admit to reading blogs. They probably like to pretend they read the news and ultimate fighting recaps or something. But judging from the blogs directed at the male audience, there are several things guys in general are into... in general: phones, side boob, Home Depot, and fight clubs.

Go Go Gadget. You know how girls dress well to impress other women? Well that's how men are about phones. Having the newest model of a phone is like the boy equivalent of having a Chanel suit...except instead of being timeless, there will be a new model every six or so months. Boy gadget blogs are like phone catalogs where every phone is a precious work of art, described in great detail, and anxiously awaiting its unveiling. Boy Genius Report If guys treated their women like they treat their phones, we would be very much appreciated...oh wait but then there'd be another model to covet every six months. Crap.

The Other Boob. According to our trend watch, cleavage is totally passe, anyone who is anything is rocking side boob. For some reason guys are obsessed to the point of shunning whole boob in favor of just side boob. Maybe it goes back to that vixen/virgin conundrum and side boob comes off as more innocent or accidental than a contrived push-up bra? Or because side boob is generally the product of a bra-less breast? I can't believe there's a website devoted to the topic, what's next underboob? Oh wait...that's apparently a thing too. WTF.

Home Improvement. No matter how pansy-ass your man is, chances are he likes to pretend or succeed in building stuff. Men take great pride in their handyman skillz. This is why it pays to push a cart around your local Home Depot in heels and a hoodie. This College Humor girl knows what's up, "Favorite Smell: The lumber section at Home Depot---nothing like fresh cut wood." CollegeHumor You know hearing that makes boys want to build you a loft with their bare all sweaty and covered in sawdust, you guys can cuddle and stuff. Er...I mean do it.

Fight Clubbed. It's no secret that every guy loves the movie Fight Club. It unleashed every aggressive unrequited inkling in boys across the country. Even if a guy isn't actually tough, he's like to think that he could take another guy in a fight. They probably size each other up in the same way girls do when they're hitting on the same guy. Can I take this guy? Hell yeah, I'm scrappy son. That's how guys talk in their head. Even if a guy knows he's going down, he'll fight because losing is still cooler than just watching a fight. Gavin McInnes who founded Vice Magazine went ahead and got his butt kicked to prove this point. StreetBonersandTVCarnage I'm not sure what to compare fighting with in girl world, maybe starting an excellent debilitating rumor or finding nice clothes on sale? I don't really get girls. Any suggestions?


  1. hmm. id never heard of the sideboob as a phenomenom before. i think youre probably right as to why guys like it.

    your entry paints a pretty pathetic picture of malekind in general. how come you didnt include anything about sports or beer?


  2. I thought those were too obvious and I don't know why guys like those things...I think they're gross. I don't think malekind is pathetic though. Well, no more pathetic than anykind I suppose.

  3. hmm... i guess i'll have to put up an entry on sports and beer on my blog, then.